I only have a couple more sessions of therapy left and I can say that this past month I have discovered a few new things about myself. Yet the most important is learning how to simply deal. To simply cope.

A couple nights ago I became confused about my emotions. I was upset yet I could not figure out why. But by sitting down and really thinking, I was able to deduce that I was simply stressed out. The pressures of school are mounting again nearing the end of the semester, not to mention the frustrations of figuring out classes for fall and making sure I get exactly what I need in order to graduate. Then at the end of April, during finals week nonetheless, I must move out and move into another rental. Soon after I will be doing a two month back and forth travel between two jobs in order to afford another semester of schooling and get a head start on my savings.

Yet I was able to break them down and deal with them one by one over the next two days. Classes in order, employment in order, the housing hunt going well, my head feels so much more freer to engage in things I enjoy.

At the end of April I am aware my tensions will be running will be extremely high, but I am not afraid of it. I understand I can cope with it. I have done it before successfully and I am able to do it again.




Many may think that I am not taking a larger investment in my psychotherapy. Others may not see the importance and necessity of my desire to have something short term and not long term. It's not simply what I look for in order to fit my schedule, but it's a trait and program I look for in my therapist as well.

I do not treat therapy as some might see other treatment programs. Depression can be seen as strange form of addiction. When individuals attempt to let go of one addiction, they turn to programs in order to cope. While they are beneficial, help one cope, and open up options, they may also turn into another addiction to fulfill the one lost. I do not wish to fall into that trap, and my therapist sees that as important as well. Therapy is not a way of life, it is simply a stepping stone. It is there to help a person get back up on their feet and give them the right direction and right tools. Therapy is not something to cling to, not to be used as a crutch.

It's about finding a greater strength within yourself. An ability to go forward on your own.